I am pretty certain that I didn’t actually wake up this morning, but instead am walking around in a new dream… most likely going to hop into the next one very soon. I’m walking around in such a daze today that I actually locked myself out of the house for at least 45 minutes (until Dan came home). Hanging out in my pajama’s while it was 42 degrees out wasn’t a problem though. I actually enjoyed the cool breeze that came my way while being half naked. My biggest issue was getting swept up in squirrel drama. That’s right, squirrel’s are dramatic little beasts.
Herbert the squirrel seemed like a trustworthy chap whose only mission was to find food. At least that’s what the lil’ fucker led me to believe for at least 15 minutes. I don’t know what got into him, but he decided to venture across the street to my neck of the woods. I was confused as to why Herbert would be looking for nuts in the middle of the street, but it seems Herbert had a completely different plan on his lil’ squirrel mind. He was making his way to Jezebel. That’s right, the big fluffy red female who lived in the tree near me. Damn, it amazes me what males will do to get the attention of a female. He almost got hit by a car trying to make his way to her. I screamed out, “Herbert, WATCH OUT!”
Herbert dodged a car in an attempt to get to his lovely Jezebel. He made his way up the telephone post to peer in on her. Wait a sec, peer in on her? It quickly became clear to me that this is not a love affair. She isn’t even aware of his existence.. Let alone his presence. Herbert turned out to be the biggest pervert squirrel in our neighborhood and here I thought I could trust Herby… good ol’ Herby (at least I used to think that)…
Wait. What do we have here? Leo & Shay are having a fight out in the open in the yard across the street? Oh snap! Leo jumped Shay right out in the open like that for all of the other squirrels to see. Shay, are you going to take that from him?! She definitely did not, because next thing I knew Shay was chasing Leo up & down the largest tree in that lot. He best not treat his lady squirrel like that in front of her relatives. She’s going to show him what’s up.
Back in my yard, Herbert thought he was being a sly ol’ squirrel by perving on the lovely Jezebel while she was enjoying a big, luscious nut. It turns out Jezebel was onto his games and ready to take action. Apparently Leo & Shay’s epic battle caught Herbert’s attention and he couldn’t resist watching since he is a voyeur. All of a sudden, Jezebel launched onto the poll where lil’ ol’ Herby had been perving. He did not notice her until she was right on his fluffy tail. To Herbert’s surprise, he was finally caught in his pervy ways and decided to haul ass toward the next yard. Jezebel didn’t give up either… She wanted the entire block to know about his acts of perversion. She made a ton of ruckus, but unfortunately for Jezebel, no one gave a rat’s ass ’cause Shay & Leo’s drama was far more entertaining than her peeping tom. Jezebel didn’t let it get to her though. She’s a tough squirrel who was determined to eat her nut & that’s exactly what she did. She ate that nut & she did it in peace.
Am I awake yet?
psssssst, sadly I have to cancel Tied Up Thursday, but am happy to say that I’ll be on MFC at some point tonight. I hope to see you there! Maybe someone can wake me up then?